Saturday, June 27, 2009

What bedrest means to me

Tomorrow is the BIG MOVE! Made possible by countless people who have given their time, talents, sweat, food, love and friendship to us during these past months and in particular in the past week and a half.

After the move, when pre-move-in to-do lists and reminders aren't spinning through my brain, I think I will have time to consider this bedrest predicament the Lord has put me in, and what this means to me. In the mean time, all I have to say is these are the Facts About Betsy (before she got stuck on bedrest in the middle of finishing construction on her house and packing for the big move):
1) I have a phobia of inconveniencing people - a fear which isn't conducive to asking for or accepting help.
2) This is connected semi-consciously to feeling a need to compensate for people who I've seen callously inconveniencing others right and left - I'm sure unaware of it. I think I just have a giant fear of being one of those people. I want to have friends, not servants. I want them to be refreshed by my presence, not wrung out and hung to dry til needed again.
3) I avoid asking for help at nearly all costs and if it's offered I prefer to politely decline, even if I really need it.
4) I feel incredibly awkward when being helped/served and prefer to work along side if help must be accepted. (Note: bedrest has made even this impossible!)
5) Any attempt at requesting help that is met with rejection, annoyance or anything other that positivity is chalked up as another reason to avoid needing help in the future. - I happen to remember these instances quite vividly and they have framed themselves prominently in the chapter of my brain called Why I Prefer To Be Self-Sufficient - unless it's Mark, from whom I willingly and happily accept help.
6) We recently watched a movie called The Edge. It starred Anthony Hopkins in the Alaskan wilderness waiting for rescue. His character says: "Most people lost in the wild die of shame. They didn't do the one thing that could save their lives-- thinking."
That stuck in my head; well, more the concept than anything else. Little did I know I'd be in my own wilderness soon enough.
Tangent: I'm no movie reviewer, but I have to say, I could have told you the whole movie from the first second it started. Yes, it was that predictable. Having said that, it probably still wasn't a good choice for a pregnant woman who needed less stress in her life (though we didn't know to what extent at the time).

Well, I can only guess this is the Lord's master plan. I whine, I stress, but when it boils down, I have to just point to the Big Guy and give him a wry smile because I know exactly what He's up to in the midst of all this, and that is this: trying to make me holy, if I just let him. We're not called "the Body of Christ" because it sounds cool, and I guess I just need to learn to live that reality. So, I guess I should give it all up. And I'm trying to. I have been asking for help - and help has been given, and I am overcome with gratitude for it, perhaps to a ridiculous extent because I am continuously surprised by people's generosity and joy in helping me! But even so that hasn't changed me, yet.

Perhaps it is I who have a great distaste for being inconvenienced? Now there's a thought.

Do you suppose it was a coincidence that this week marked 40 days until I'm ok with Baby arriving (37 wks). Biblical, anyone?

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Bedrest update

Hi there faithful followers. I've officially survived one week of bedrest, or more accurately, couchrest, and I have good news! I had another Dr. appt. today and the findings are: no change! In fact, I may even be about a 1/2 cm. less dilated than last week!!! We like this news. 31 weeks and going strong. Please continue to pray; I'd love love love to keep this baby in until at least 37 weeks - that seems a bit much to hope for, but hey, shoot for the moon, right?

Our moving date has been changed from Saturday to Sunday, due to the lack of available rental trucks on Saturday. Apparently the end of the month on a Saturday in early Summer is everyone's day to move. Well, Sunday it is.

We bought an amazingly comfortable reclining wingback chair on craigslist a few months back. Mark just moved it into the living room of our house, today (it had been in the utility room while floors and walls were being finished). I've already planned that as my "bedrest" spot on move-in day. I can't wait!

One of my favorite things that Iain has been doing recently is peek-a-boo, Iain-style. He makes his hands into little fists, with his thumbs tucked in, and presses his fists into his eyes. Then he slowly pulls his fists away and out to the side and waits for us to say "peek-a-boo". He's even tried to say it himself a few times. It's usually something like "boo" or "pee". Boy is he a cutie!

Speaking of Iain, one of the hardest parts of bedrest is not being able to hold him. I can't believe how much I miss just sitting and snuggling with my little man. I was the only one home when he woke up from his nap today, so I broke the rules and got him out of his crib. Those few moments were so sweet, just holding him. I knew it wasn't good for his sister, so I had to put him down and return to the couch. If I make it to 37 weeks, I might just have to celebrate with an Iain snuggle-a-thon. I guess if I don't make it to 37 weeks, I can snuggle with him much as I miss him, I can't say I'm rooting for that scenario.

Mark has been keeping me posted on the progress at the house by taking lots of pictures for me. I'd love to share them with you, but unfortunately, that requires sitting at my computer, which I can't do. (I'm laying down, using Mark's laptop, right now). Despite that restriction, I did manage to upload the pictures from the camera to the computer by sneakily multi-tasking: On my way to the bathroom, I plugged in the camera. On my way from the bathroom to the kitchen to grab a snack, I pressed the button make the pics upload. I then obediently waited a couple of hours until Mark got home and could move the couch closer to the computer before I looked at them. Everything looks so much nicer on the "big screen" than on the itsy-bitsy camera screen.

I hope you haven't fallen asleep and started drooling on your keyboard while trying to read through this post. I'm afraid this may have given you a glimpse into how very exciting life is for me, these days. :) Did I mention how wonderful it was to go to the dr. today? First time out in a week! So many beautiful trees and sky and rain and fresh air and, well, you get the point.

Speaking of sleep, it's 3:10 am and I think I'm finally getting sleepy. I didn't mean to take a 3 hour nap today, it just happened. Well, I learned my lesson!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Baby #2 Update

I've been put on bedrest as a result of being in early preterm labor. Given my history with Iain (born at 35 week, 3 days) my doctor didn't want to mess around. Please keep us in your prayers. I'm 30 weeks along, 90% effaced and 1.5 cm dilated. I'm also taking some medication to help halt any further progress.

What to pray for:
- Health and safety of Baby #2
- Iain; he didn't take too well to me being on the couch all day today - I compromised by laying on the floor while he played around me. This seemed to make him pretty happy.
- Helpers, especially for packing and moving which we will be doing this coming week with the big move on the 27th. Obviously I'm pretty much useless as a packer or a mover now, and that's kinda frustrating.
- Mark, because he has to be mom, dad, husband, house-do-it-all guy, not to mention his "real" job! He's absolutely amazing!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Ahhh Summer!...ahem

Summer is here, the dorm is empty and life is, well, interesting. Since the students have moved out, I think maintenance forgot that there are still 4 souls residing in this hall. In the last week alien invaders, aka workers wearing head-enclosing welding masks have set up scaffolding and spent the entirety of the last week, so far, drilling away at the concrete trim around the building. Oh the noise and the smell. Think dentist drill and tooth dust, only worse. Thankfully our house has kept us incredibly busy and aside from the daily rude awakenings, I miss most of their activity.

Secondly, I tried to take a shower the other day after a full morning of chasing a crazy toddler around our small-and-impossible-to-baby-proof apartment. Needless to say, that shower was the carrot in front of me as I set him down for a nap. I stepped into the shower, turned on the water and waited for it to get hot (now that the students are gone, that can take a little longer than usual). Well, it got hot all right, and then hotter and hotter. I turned it down and it was still boiling hot. I turned it to full-cold...still boiling hot.

I got out of the shower and turned on the cold water at the sink. Hot. A bit later, the "facilities" were used by a certain someone I happen to be married to. Shortly thereafter, pregnant lady that I am, it was my turn and I discovered that our toilet had converted itself into a mini-sauna. As you might imagine, this was a somewhat odd and disconcerting experience.

Mark made a phone call and an hour or so later we once again had cold water flowing out of the cold tap...and hot from the hot.

It was nice while it lasted... I just tried to wash a pot, only to discover that our hot water has been (temporarily, I hope) turned off. Fortunately, we still have cold water, and though I wouldn't normally settle for washing a pot in cold water, the plan is to make pasta, which requires boiling water, which will hopefully sanitize it well enough. Unfortunately, unless I plan on going third-world (which I don't) my dreams of a shower will have to wait...again.