Friday, September 19, 2008

The Crucible

The last 48 hours have reminded me of a crazy idea that I had a few months back. More to come about these last 2 days, but first, my idea which I'm afraid would probably leave the world underpopulated if it ever caught on...

The Mommy Crucible:

In Catholic circles, as men and women approach their indepedence (and beyond), they are encouraged to seriously discern their vocation: Marriage, Religious Life, Consecrated Single life.... Now, focusing on women for the moment, it is not unheard of for ladies to go on vocation retreats with different Religious orders, to become more familar with their particular way of life.

Unfortunately, beside the school of their own family and perhaps exstensive childcare, there is no way, with which I am familar, to help women experience the particular challenges of motherhood. I am convinced that this is some sneaky plan that may be cousins with the old "bait and switch," without which the human population might quickly die out. Well, perhaps not, as mother nature has given us the gifts of selective memory and a biological clock that keep the species going. Or perhaps that was God, in His infinite wisdom. I suppose that's the more likely answer. :)


This idea is quite skeletal at the moment, but it would be a series of exercises done to simulate some of the "joys" of motherhood. (Feel free to add your own ideas in the comments section) One example:

- To simulate night feedings of newborns:
Woman sets her alarm for every 2 hours throughout the night. At each alarm, she gets up and sits in a dark and quiet room with a full-to-the-brim glass of water in hand. She must sit there for 30 minutes without spilling a drop.... Teaches: ability to stay awake and aware even in the most fatigued state, in a sleep-inducing enviroment.

more to come, I'm sure...

In my current state, that's the only one of my brilliant exercises that I can recall. Now, why do I find myself in this state?

Perhaps it's because I was up most of the night, 2 nights ago, doing 7 loads of laundry, in hopes that I could rid our home of germs, after I sent my husband off the ER, (incidentally, driven by his boss's son who happens to live across the hall!) because Mark had a case of dehydrating food poisoning and, after catching all 200+ lbs of him as he passed out in the bathroom at 2 am, I realized it had officially gotten beyond me. Note: a few liters of IV fluid, some Zofran and a handful of hours later, he was home again and on the upswing. He's not fully recovered, but at least he's no longer the human Niagra Falls!

Maybe it's the stress of constant disinfection in hopes that my 7 month old and I don't catch whatever it is that Mark had. (So far, so good...please do pray!)

Last and very least, it might be that I was anticipating that I could get some sleep last night, only to discover that my 7 month old, who had spent the entire day nursing every 2 hours (leaving me hopeful that perhaps that meant he would sleep through the night for the first time in 4 months, having tanked up all day) continued his 2 hour trend alllll through the night...and day, today. Did I mention he also woke up with quite the runny nose. Hey, I'll take a runny nose over other runny alternatives, any day!!!

I don't know how working mothers do it! On that note, my new favorite motto is: What doesn't kill you... takes a few years off your life. ;)

Actually, all in all, aside from the passing out incident, which was scary for me, this whole experience has been so much more bearable than I would've imagined. Thank you Lord for giving us grace as we need it, and for not letting us see what's coming before we have the grace to handle it!

1 comment:

Reenie said...

A few other solutions: Get a puppy with a bladder the size of a pea. You will quickly learn about waking up several times a night at the slighteest wimper to avoid an accident.

Another great idea, babysit your friends kids for a weekend and have them vomitting in the middle of the night "Weenie, I threw up in my bed." Also a great reminder of the gruesome side of parenting.

Or kid sit for 3 toddlers on a weekend you were hoping to accomplish something... again, you learn that your plans are nothing in comparison to a lot of diapers, naps, toys everywhere, hungry kids...