I've got a couple preventative measures to add to your agenda:
1) Block the sun! Everyone knows it causes cancer. I propose you issue a mandate to construct a transcontinental shade-structure that blocks all sunlight. If people *REALLY* want sunshine, they could of course pull back a bit of the structure for *limited* amount of time, maybe once or twice in their life.
2) Stomach bags. You know I really can't control myself, and why should I?! Everyone knows how good chocolate is, but I don't want to get fat and risk diabetes. It would be awesome if you could mandate free stomach bags, [to swallow and remove later] so I could eat whatever I want, whenever I want, for as long as I want. After all, it's my right to be free from obesity and related diseases!
Thank you for considering these freedom-enhancing measures. I can't wait to live life the way I have a right to live it - free from cancer and obesity. Oh Yeah! No one can say "No" to that!
(...except those freaks who think everyone should
Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen
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