Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Addendum to my last post, and praying for a fence

First of all, how exciting that I have a following 200% higher than I supposed. ;) Just teasing, but really, thank you for your comments, they helped me clarify a few things in my own head:

- Leisure time is important and, as Mark pointed out last night, he doesn't feel bad about leisure time. (Yes dear, I know that, thank you.) But, more importantly, he commented that perhaps the difficulty is that I live, work and leisure (can that be a verb?) in the same location and that may be what's causing the difficulty in the mental separation. Sounds about doesn't offer much in the way of a solution, but knowing where this is coming from seems a good start.

- I also wanted to clarify that I am extremely blessed by the outpouring of help with the kids, meals, etc. that friends and family around here are providing. The burden of bedrest is made so much lighter because of that help. As I told Mark, "the things I have to complain about aren't worth complaining about." So, please forgive my ungrateful tone in my last post. I think I was mostly grumbling about the fact that bedrest provides the "perfect" opportunity to catch up on all the parts of life that I dislike the most (scheduling, bills, calling this that and the other companies inquiring about x,y and z issues, etc.) and while I can accomplish these tasks while on bedrest because they require little movement, they also must be done when the kids aren't around because I can't get away from grabbing hands and backs-that-want-scratching and button-pushing fingers...which means naptime, my 1.5 hrs of solitude, are highjacked. Oh dear, here I am complaining again. Will I never learn?!

- And lastly, lest you think I've morphed into an other-worldy creature who must be busy all the time, I should honestly admit that as much as I dislike doing nothing, I often find myself doing exactly that because my brain says, "I can't/am not up for doing real work right now, but I have a bit of time right now. If I spend that time doing something leisurely that I enjoy, I will feel bad that I didn't do real work, so as an alternative, I shall do nothing, and then I can't feel as bad because it's not like I was doing something else." Twisted, aren't I? I think I've been that way for most of my life.

So perhaps my new goal in this area will be to be more attentive to when and why I am wasting time, and work to balance that time with work and leisure.


I'm praying for a fence. A black chain-link fence to go around the perimeter of our backyard. Please pray with me!

God has dumped miracle after miracle on us/our house and I feel bad (can I not get away from the dumb bad feelings?!) asking for a fence when He just gave us a free roof and siding!!! But, I am trying to trust that it's good to ask, so please pray along with me and then we can all rejoice together.


Meghan said...

Thank you for writing another post! I think you have a valid point there about living and working in the same place and having trouble with the mental separation and the effects it has on relaxtion. Anthony always wonders why I can't relax all the time after the kids go to bed or when he gets home from work. Now I realize it is because I am still at work, and there is always something to be done! Thank you for the insight. Oh, and I will pray for a fence with you!

Anna said...

Never for a moment thought you were complaining. Isn't complaining whining about something with no intention of do anything about it? I sure hope voicing concerns with an attempt to fix things isn't complaining or I sure do a lot of complaining. :)
Sorry if I projected some of my issues & struggles from my bedrest episodes onto you.
Back to the leisure issue. My relaxing time is nap time or for the older kids quiet time. I do not do any work in this time. I sleep, read, pray, eat, or do anything else that helps to recharge me for the evening shift. My kids know not to disturb me on pain of death. :) Anyway, it works for us. Happy mom = happy home

Anna said...

Oh, and praying for your fence. God loves when we ask him for things!

Reenie said...

I have a very hard time winding down too, and I don't live and work in the same place. Actually I work both places and can't seem to shut down and really relax anywhere! Argh. Anyway, I hear ya.

As for praying for miracles, I will pray you get a miraculous fence, and you pray that lightening strikes those six awful pine trees in my backyard :D