Addendum to my last post, and praying for a fence

First of all, how exciting that I have a following 200% higher than I supposed. ;) Just teasing, but really, thank you for your comments, they helped me clarify a few things in my own head:

- Leisure time is important and, as Mark pointed out last night, he doesn't feel bad about leisure time. (Yes dear, I know that, thank you.) But, more importantly, he commented that perhaps the difficulty is that I live, work and leisure (can that be a verb?) in the same location and that may be what's causing the difficulty in the mental separation. Sounds about right...it doesn't offer much in the way of a solution, but knowing where this is coming from seems a good start.

- I also wanted to clarify that I am extremely blessed by the outpouring of help with the kids, meals, etc. that friends and family around here are providing. The burden of bedrest is made so much lighter because of that help. As I told Mark, "the things I have to complain about aren't worth complaining about." So, please forgive my ungrateful tone in my last post. I think I was mostly grumbling about the fact that bedrest provides the "perfect" opportunity to catch up on all the parts of life that I dislike the most (scheduling, bills, calling this that and the other companies inquiring about x,y and z issues, etc.) and while I can accomplish these tasks while on bedrest because they require little movement, they also must be done when the kids aren't around because I can't get away from grabbing hands and backs-that-want-scratching and button-pushing fingers...which means naptime, my 1.5 hrs of solitude, are highjacked. Oh dear, here I am complaining again. Will I never learn?!

- And lastly, lest you think I've morphed into an other-worldy creature who must be busy all the time, I should honestly admit that as much as I dislike doing nothing, I often find myself doing exactly that because my brain says, "I can't/am not up for doing real work right now, but I have a bit of time right now. If I spend that time doing something leisurely that I enjoy, I will feel bad that I didn't do real work, so as an alternative, I shall do nothing, and then I can't feel as bad because it's not like I was doing something else." Twisted, aren't I? I think I've been that way for most of my life.

So perhaps my new goal in this area will be to be more attentive to when and why I am wasting time, and work to balance that time with work and leisure.

ON A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOTE....

I'm praying for a fence. A black chain-link fence to go around the perimeter of our backyard. Please pray with me!

God has dumped miracle after miracle on us/our house and I feel bad (can I not get away from the dumb bad feelings?!) asking for a fence when He just gave us a free roof and siding!!! But, I am trying to trust that it's good to ask, so please pray along with me and then we can all rejoice together.

Straining to hear the distant call of the elusive Leisure spirit

Does anyone ever read this? I know I used to have a dedicated following of 2, sometimes 3, people. I've nearly stopped largely because a) it takes too much of my time and b) it takes too much of my time. Yes, I know, that was repetitive. But it's time that I could be spending a) with my kids, or b) doing any household chore you can possibly think of. To sum up: I feel bad blogging, and I feel even worse when I'm trying to justify it taking that time. So I slowed to a crawl and feel inclined to give it up, regardless of how much I might enjoy it (in those moments when I can say "to heck with feeling bad.")

But if I peel back a layer or two of this "feeling bad" moldy onion, I also have to recognize that I would feel the same about any leisure activity. That just doesn't seem right. Right? Crafts, reading, exercise, the occasional nap, correspondence (hah! not on your life; my hand starts cramping and I miss whole words and then send a scribbly scrawly nonsense letter. Wouldn't you feel special receiving one of those?) Any of those are things that it seems my friends do, and do frequently, and don't appear to feel bad about doing them. Do you? I mean really? Do you feel like you should be doing something else, or reading another story to your toddlers? Let's be honest, the to-do list of a mom and/or homeowner and/or human being is ENDLESS.

Please don't tell me "well, I make sure I have balance in my life by scheduling my time so I have an hour of x,y or z and then an hour of leisure time." Because even if I do that, I spend that hour feeling bad about the to-do lists, esp. the ones that could seem leisurely, or at least will give me some mental peace: organizing the baby clothes (which I'm currently doing, on bedrest, as best I can.) Painting the stairs (which is on hold for a few months; I can't imagine painting and newborn care go well together.) Or any other jillion things that require spreadsheets and filling out forms and phone calls and gathering information and stops at the post office, etc. that really aren't leisurely at all but must be done and when they are done I feel a weight lifted from my shoulders...perhaps that's it? Perhaps the question is: how can I justify and enjoy leisure time when there is a weight on my shoulders that will not lift until it is all dealt with, but dealing with it all right now might be the end of us all? So I just feel bad. And the kids are grouchy because I'm not reading them a book.

And now they are awake from their nap and I haven't done the 3 easy things on my naptime to-do list because I was trying to enjoy leisure time.

And I'm on bedrest for crying out loud! The one (ahem, second) time in my life I am ordered to remain still and do nothing. But I can't do nothing because that's not leisure it's lazy boring nothing, and surely I can at least fold clothes, read books, sort through stuff, make phone calls, reply to emails, pay bills...gotta say, bedrest ain't what it's cracked up to be, it's just normal life made more difficult and complicated. And they say stress isn't good for the baby. Pardon me while I quietly pull out my hair (wouldn't want to scare the children!)

Well, how was that for a rambling post, let me see if I can follow myself:

1) Does anyone still read this?

2) How do in incorporate leisure time when there's so much to be done and you know you'll feel better when it's done?

3) Bedrest is the pits.

Ta-da! ;)

Falling off the wagon...bump, bump, bump

So, like any diet or lifestyle change, as I'm hoping the case will be, I've fallen off the wagon of my routine. The house still looks O.K., the laundry is getting done a load at a time and the bills are being paid on an ongoing as-needed basis (in otherwords, as they arrive). However, the sheen is gone from the floor, the bathtub has sand in it from a family outing to the beach and the cobwebs are reportedly appearing in the family room windows.

So, like any good dieter, I am ignoring this state of affairs and am blogging while sipping coffee from a beautiful teacup. The tea set was recently given to me after being rescued by a close friend...it's a long story. Anyway, I found it on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Johnson-Brothers-Willow-Blue-Piece/dp/B000VIGF0A/ref=pd_bxgy_k_img_b

Nice, eh? It came to me in all it's original packaging, apparently never having seen the light of day. It's a beautiful blue pattern that goes well with our decor, but not that of my friend's, so she thought of me. Hurray! Not to mention, since I've been married I've wanted a tea set and have had my eyes peeled at Goodwill, particularly for a sugar bowl and creamer. Now I have a whole matching set! I feel like I'm 6 and I need to have a tea party with my dolls. Something tells me Iain and Lydia wouldn't make great tea company, yet. No dolls or truly 6-year-old Betsy's around, so I'm making do with my coffee. I feel so refined. :)

In other news, as you may have heard, "they" say that smell is the sense most strongly linked to memory (or something like that). Some of my favorite "cozy" smells come from my maternal Grandparents' home: coffee and soap. Coffee - check!, Soap - well, no, but I found the smell! - Bath and Body Works "Sea Island Cotton" line. I am addicted to their lotion. I have it sitting in front of me on the table, having just slathered it all over my slightly sun-burned legs (note to self: just because my mexican friend can bake in the sun doesn't mean my freckled self can do the same! - in case you're gasping in horror, I kept 80% of me in the shade and only my lower legs in the sun, hoping to rid myself of my legs' pasty whiteness...I know, I know, just because we're all going to die of cancer doesn't mean I need to pull out the welcome mat. I will be sticking with my sunblock regime from here on out.) Back to the point, Sea Island Cotton - I'm in love. It was also nice that the day we were at B&BW, they were having a sale on their little lotions 3/$10 and also handing out coupons for spend $10, get a large lotion free. Bonus! We must have looked ridiculous, running around with our noses in all sorts of smelly lotions. 4 different lotions and $10 later, we're a happy family. Me esp, with my beloved Sea Island Cotton. I also highly recommend "Japanese Cherry Blossom" for the special occasion. It smells like a date (uh, not the fruit, the get-all-dressed-up-and-go-out-with-your-guy kind). :)

Ah blog, you are a wonderful way to procrastinate. I am sad to say that I really must get back to work. The floors won't shine themselves (espcially now that Lydia's crawling and pulling herself up to stand!!! rather than rolling around). Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Daily Routine...what a notion!

A heartfelt "Thank You!" to all who replied to my post about schedules, etc. I feel like I have at least cracked the heretofore impenetrable fortress of un-ordered life. Rather than thank you each for your particular contributions, I'll give you a glimpse of where I've gotten to, and you might just see some of your suggestions mirrored in my skeletal daily outline:

7:30 - wake up, make coffee and breakfast

Prayer time alone in downstairs family room while Mark wrangles children upstairs as needed

Shower, if there's time

8:30 - "Shift change" report as Mark gets into work mode or leaves

Get kids dressed, fed, etc.

Quick kitchen clean up

9:30 - Morning Activity (play outside, library, hang out with other mom/kids, etc.)

10:30 - Lydia nap, Iain snack - if we're home

12 - Iain lunch

12:30 - Iain nap, Betsy lunch (Lydia nap or awake depending on morning nap)

Betsy's afternoon to-do time: laundry, cleaning, tidying, phone calls, (blogging)

2:00 - coffee break. Ahhhhhhhh! :)

3:00 - Iain awake (anywhere between 2:30 and 4 - yes, his naps can be crazy long, please don't hate me, though I can imagine that if I were you, I might struggle with that).

WOAH - pardon the interruption, but as you might recall, we live directly across the street from our church and parish school. Not infrequently, there is a police car (speed trap) in the church driveway directly across from our living room window. As I was writing the above, I thought that was what was going on, until I actually looked across the street and saw that there were 3 police cars (one unmarked) parked in the driveway followed shortly by a State Trooper Helicopter landing in the parking lot. Pretty impressive. I'm very sorry to say that Iain is sleeping and is missing the whole thing.

Thinking that I was witnessing something hugely dramatic, I waited eagerly to see what would happen next (yes, I realize that as "exciting" as it might be for those 2 minutes as something dramatic unfolded right in front of me, it would not be so exciting to realize that I live right across the street from such dramatic events.) Fortunately for me and more importantly, my dear children, it wasn't anything "dramatic" (ie, not a crime) but rather a school demonstration of some sort. I assume they didn't just deputize the mass of school children running eagerly towards the helicopter.

Back to my day...

4:30 - dinner prep, tidy, tell Iain 25x that he can't "wash dishes" right now, feed Lydia

6:00 - dinner time

After dinner - clean up kitchen, run dishwasher

Family prayer, husband/wife meeting (includes scheduling, "how are you doing" check-in, etc.), couples' group, family date night, (depends on the day)

8:30 - kiddos in bed

10:00 - Mark and I go to bed and watch one show online (this is my carrot to get me into bed b/c I'm naturally a night owl - funny thing is, as soon as I lay down I realize I'm exhausted and about 40% of the time I fall asleep before the show is over).

HELP

4.5 years of marriage and 2 kids later, I'm coming to the end of my rope trying to reinvent a wheel when I know so many of you have the directions down pat. So, I welcome and actively implore your lengthy comments about the following (any or all):

1. What does your daily/weekly schedule look like?

2. How do you manage to get routine housework/prayer/etc. done when your children (esp. small ones) need you NOW...all the time.

3. How do you balance restorative and productive time (ie, breaks in your work during the day).

4. When and how do you have time and energy for anything crafty when you have children and housework and meals and, well, etc.

5. Just out of curiosity: what time do you put the kids to bed? What time do you go to bed? What time do you get up? and how on earth do you ever feel rested? - do you ever feel rested?

6. Do you plan your meals in advance? If so, is it just dinner, or all meals?

Please! Whether I know you personally or not, please please please leave me ridiculously long comments. I'm just trying to get an idea of how to make this whole mom/wife/homemaker/me thing work and I sure would love a glimpse into how some of you manage it (or don't, if that's the case.) :)

Now I have to go because Lydia is trying to eat something off the kitchen floor. yuck.